It's my birthday!

I am seeking a pair of headphones. Let's establish immediately that my ears are, apparently, freakish, and I am unable to wear earbuds. After trying several different brands of in-the-ear headphones, even adjustable ones, without success, I admit defeat and hearken back to the year 2000.

My requirements for these headphones:
* do not go into the ear
* neckband, not over-the-head band
* collapsible, so I can throw them into my bag, coat pocket, etc
* sturdy wiring
* don't have a lot of sound bleed to fellow T passengers
* yet are not noise-canceling
* have really good sound

I was deeply in love with my Phillips headphones which met all these requirements, but unfortunately the latest model is crappier than the last, and bit the dust in short order. I got nearly two years out of the last pair.

Any brilliant suggestions? I would pay more than $18 for what I wanted.

This is a public service announcement that everyone needs to CALM DOWN about the flue pandemic WHO just declared. After watching the media milk the WHO's centimeter-by-centimeter progress towards this move (if I read another headline about how they were "thinking about" or "considering" or "one step closer," I will scream, though frankly the pandemic has saved me) I must alert you to the following important information, which is buried about halfway through the news articles:

"Phase 6, if we call a phase 6, doesn't mean anything concerning severity, it is concerning geographic spread ... Pandemic means global, but it doesn't have any connotation of severity or mildness," WHO spokesman Gregory Hartl said.

"In fact, what we are seeing with this virus so far is overwhelmingly to date mild disease. So we would think that this event is really a moderate event for the time being, because the numbers are high but the disease is overwhelmingly mild," he told Reuters Television before the committee meeting.

Do you see that? Do you see the words "mild" and "moderate" and even "overwhelmingly mild"?

Do you see the distinction between geography and severity, made by the very organization that has declared the pandemic?

Good. Then my work here is done.

Go forth, and please, wash your hands.

I'm going to the Prop 8 protest tomorrow. It's my first protest. Not sure what we can do from over here, but I'm sure as hell going to find out.

I look outside. There are teenagers leaning against my car, necking.

In the dark, I hear more teenagers.

One of the girls yells, "Don't BOTHER me! I'm PEEING!"

At the kitchen sink I found three big, black, glossy, and extremely fast carpenter ants. They were surrounded by Massive Tiny Ant Carnage. I gagged.

The carpenter ants sensed me and became very still.

I waited for a moment. None of us moved. It was as if we were anticipating which of us would be the first to pull a knife.

I tapped the faucet and they scattered, one racing pell-mell down the drain.

This weekend I am leaving the landlords a message.

Also, the cat just found a four-inch weave of her own hair, which I'd brushed and aimed badly at the wastebasket. While I watched, she ate it. It took mere seconds. Now she's lying on her back in the hall, all four feet in the air. I hope she's not dead.

I opened my laptop.

I am not even going to tell you how many tiny ants emerged.

They always get more active before a thunderstorm.

One doing laps on my purse while we commuted on the T, two on the desk at work (but not with each other).

On my desk at work?

A tiny ant.

I emptied my laundry into the washer.

A tiny ant scuttled free and raced across the white metal.